Feature Article

Families unite through sacrament prep

JAMIE PILARCZYK

Issue 02 | March & April 2009

even-year-old Gabrielle Tapley fingered a small rock pressed between her palm and a prayer book. She was waiting for her group to be called as the next to receive the sacrament of reconciliation at Christ the King Parish in Tampa.

The girl’s mother, Wijdan Tapley, said the rock symbolized the burden of sin that we carry. Once she made her reconciliation with the priest, Gabby would receive a cloth heart pillow to symbolize the love in forgiveness.

Scattered throughout the church, restless children moved about in the pews, watching their peers wait in line, some looking like deer in the headlights, others a little more relaxed.

For Gabby, it was the latter.

“I’m not nervous,” she said eagerly. “I’m excited.”

That excitement is something parish leaders are trying to figure out how to harness and support.

“It’s easy to prepare someone for an event – those great moments in our lives – but we need to prepare them as well for a new way of living,” said Father Gary Dowsey of Our Lady of Lourdes Parish in Dunedin. “Are we preparing for an event or are we preparing to deepen the faith relationship with Christ in Church, that which has eternal value?”

Many say they see whole families come back to the Church or have their personal faith journeys reinvigorated while helping the younger members of the family prepare for these first sacraments.

“This is often a time when families reconnect with the Church,” said Father Dowsey. “What happens is they make an effort for the kids and for themselves and then it disappears again. We want to keep that excitement alive and active.”

For the Tapleys, seeing their daughter receive the sacraments is just one more miracle in their lives. Gabby was born prematurely at 24 weeks. Through that time, the Tapleys found their strength in prayer. With each day, each new miracle in their daughter’s life, they were drawn closer God.

Seeing her begin her own faith journey now solidifies what this family already knew.

“Faith is very important in our life,” said Wijdan Tapley who is a catechist with her husband, James, who signed up to co-teach with his wife next year. “You grow in faith with hardships in your life. I know it’s not easy to put your trust in God. But it gives you strength.”

When Christine Esposito’s first son was preparing for the sacrament of holy Communion, she said it renewed her family’s commitment to the Church.

“We have always been Catholic, but we fell away a little,” said Esposito, who attends Our Lady of Lourdes. “At that point, we decided to not just be convenient Catholics, but really participate.”

Anthony Esposito is now 16, and the family is helping prepare the youngest, Jake, 7, for his first reconciliation and holy Communion, which he’ll receive in May.

“Jake has been wanting to receive Communion and doesn’t understand why he can’t,” said Christine Esposito. “Seeing his excitement keeps us excited. When it’s over, though, I’ll teach him that you have to keep active in your faith.”

The family has volunteered twice to take home the parish’s traveling chalice, an opportunity for weeklong reflection and prayer for vocations, and they volunteer time at the church office and participate in parish events.

“Faith without works is dead,” Esposito said. “We’re his hands and feet. You have to step up to the plate.”

She admitted the demands of daily life can be distracting. Financial and time constraints are always a concern. It is participation in the Church, though, that has nurtured a sense of belonging and desire for more, she said.

“There is never a good time,” Esposito said. “But once I made the commitment, God provided the way.”

Her thought mirrors that of Father Dowsey, who said that participation, as well as incorporation of the whole family, is key. When you fall in love with Christ, you fall more in love with your own family.

“That is what I hope happens,” he said. “I’d love to see people get to the point where they see how wonderful this relationship with Christ is, that how would you want to let that go?”

Resurrection Parish in Riverview, like many others throughout the diocese, encourages whole families to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation with their young members who are receiving it for the first time. Throughout the students’ preparation, parents are encouraged to continue the learning at home with lesson plans, prayer and reflection.

“Involving the family gets them higher enrichment for themselves,” said Tina VerPault, director of faith formation at Resurrection. “It challenges them to do the teaching and become more committed.”

VerPault said it’s working. She’s seen a growth in the number of families coming back to the Church. In the last two years, the number of children registered for sacrament preparation has doubled.

While eastern Hillsborough County is a growing area, she said the growth is not just within the Catholic community. She sees an increase in the number of families converting from other faiths.

“It’s so wonderful to see the families come back to Church through their children,” VerPault said. “The Holy Spirit is working mightily right now.”

Sonya Adkins, a member of Blessed Trinity in St. Petersburg and director of religious education, found her calling in the Church while raising her children, now grown, with her husband, George. She had a degree in elementary education and was a stay-at-home mom. By the time the last of the four children was entering school, she decided to get involved in the religious education program at her parish.

With the few materials available to her at her country church in rural Ohio, she realized that while she had an education, she was lacking knowledge in her own faith.

“It wasn’t that I tried to avoid it,” Adkins said. “It just hadn’t connected.”

Her journey included listening more at church, becoming a catechist along with a group of other young mothers, and then receiving a master’s degree in theology before moving to Florida.

“I decided that if I was going to do something, it had to really touch the lives of people,” Adkins said. “But instead of me educating others, it became my own education. It has encouraged and strengthened my own faith.”

Pilarcyzk is a Tampa-based freelance writer.